View From Purcell, Oklahoma: Beer Theories

Beer Theories


If this doesn't make you feel better about having a beer (or several) then nothing will! Besides, you should at least get a smile or a laugh out of it!

All things in moderation is what I say. The problem is that each persons definition of moderate can very greatly!

Funnies start now:

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

Babe Ruth

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

Lyndon B. Johnson  

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Paul Horning

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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not."

H. L. Mencken


When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin  When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

George Bernard Shaw


"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin


"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

Dave Barry

Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

Professor Irwin Corey


To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group  Salvation in a can!

Leo Durocher

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One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this..  A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Licensed to SELL - Dedicated - Experienced - Honest - Than Maynard - Purcell, OK

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Than Maynard
REALTOR, CRB, Certified Short Sale agent, Certified Foreclosure Agent, Accredited REO Agent
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma Real Estate
1726 N Green Avenue, Purcell, OK 73080
CELL: (405) 990-8862
OFFICE: (405) 527-3012



We never stop moving 3d

Comment balloon 8 commentsThan Maynard • July 12 2011 04:48PM


Hi Than - How about "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa. And gosh, it's late afternoon, and I'm strangely thirsty.

Posted by Dick Greenberg, Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate (New Paradigm Partners LLC) almost 9 years ago

You gotta love the Cliff Clavin - he is was the best out of the "Cheers" gang. Thanks for the laugh! 

Posted by Kaera Mims, Associate Broker, e-PRO, REALTOR; Hampton, Newport News, York Co. (Liz Moore & Associates) almost 9 years ago

Great quotes.  I remember the cheers episode when cliff rattled off this graet one.

Posted by William Feela, Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No. (WHISPERING PINES REALTY) almost 9 years ago

I like Cliff's logic. Drink beer and clean out the weaker brain cells. Ha!

Posted by Ted Tyrrell, Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria (RE/MAXCamosun (Chatterton)) almost 9 years ago

I have heard some of these beofre.  All are very credable reasons

Posted by Vern Eaton, Realtor 651-674-7449 almost 9 years ago

Cliff one of our true american hero's in uniform. Is he still alive ? :) lol ( J )

Posted by Team Honeycutt (Allen Tate) almost 9 years ago

Than, Cliff's "Buffalo Theory" is the best...I have a buddy up in Chicago and without doubt he's got to be the smartest guy on earth!

Posted by Nick T Pappas, Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource (Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL) almost 9 years ago

Oh that was good!  I'll have to try and remember some of these, even though I'm not a beer drinker myself, I sure do know plenty.

Posted by Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089, Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info (Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers) almost 9 years ago