View From Purcell, Oklahoma: First McDonald's: Now the World: Obama's Plan to Fight Obesity

First McDonald's: Now the World: Obama's Plan to Fight Obesity

In her continuing struggle to fight obesity the First Lady's victory over McDonald's (The victory was getting McDonald's to include apple slices in Happy Meal orders.) has emboldened her.  

The federal government (read: Mrs. Obama) has realized that the government cannot force the children to actually eat these apples or to even eat sensibly. (Just look at her meals!) 
ASIDE: She tried to establish the Federal Reallocation of caloric Intake Enforcement Authority (FRcIED) which would have assigned a Federal Food Agent (FFA) to every McDonald's to make sure the apple slices were eaten (and what would you do about the drive thru?) was just too expensive and wasteful for even HER husband to propose. Besides, someone pointed out that there were other fast food places and resturants that served improperly balanced meals (You know, like that place you, Mrs. Obama, ate at yesterday. Mrs. Obama informed them that she would be receiving a waiver from FRcIED once it was established. As would anyone who toed the party line.)
 
So, instead of a new department, a new federal program has been created with, of course, a Czar as overseer...er..I mean...leader...ah...spokesperson?
 
The new program:(A few tweaks are inevitable)

Everyone will receive a Caloric Count Card (C3) and a small chip inserted into their tongue (the Caloric Count Auto Scanner and Analyzer 3.2 or CCASAv3.2) that allows you X number of calories per day. The original number (X) will be adjusted per person, so as not to shock/starve the customer/peon/great unwashed masses. 
Note: The X is automatically adjusted by satellite feed (pun intended) once a week. 
You may eat whatever you like, but every item is automatically scanned by the C3 and that amount is deducted from your daily Caloric Intake Allotment (CIA). If you attempt to exceed your CIA the CCASAv3.2 will automatically report your transgression. Violators are subject immediate relocation to LT-BMRF (see below).
 

In addition the government will regulate/require that everyone in America must exercise for 30 minutes 3 times a week. 

  1. "Exercise Camps" (in government speak Body Mass Reallocation Facilities, BMRFs for short) will be set up across the US and people will be brought in with our nationwide high speed rail and mass transit systems.
  • Current plans are to nationalize all Gyms, health clubs and workout centers. 
  • Current owners will be compensated with a life-time membership to the BMRF and the knowledge that they are improving all our lives with their voluntary donation to the cause.
  1. You must lose 5% of excess body fat a week or you are relocated to a "Exercise Retreat" (Long Term Body Mass Reallocation Facilities, LT-BMRFs) until you reach your assigned goal. 
  2. Once the goal is achieved you are returned to your local BMRF.
  • You must continue your weekly exercise regime or back to the "Exercise Spa". (Repeat offenders will be sent to a ..... trust me you don't want to know!)

The alternative is Food Re-distribution. The rich of the food world should be required to spread the caloric count around and not hog it all (pun intended).

Licensed to SELL - Dedicated - Experienced - Honest - Than Maynard - Purcell, OK

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Than Maynard
REALTOR, CRB, Certified Short Sale agent, Certified Foreclosure Agent, Accredited REO Agent
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma Real Estate
1726 N Green Avenue, Purcell, OK 73080
CELL: (405) 990-8862
OFFICE: (405) 527-3012
www.cbheart.com

 

 

We never stop moving 3d

Comment balloon 14 commentsThan Maynard • July 27 2011 11:29AM

Comments

And how exactly to they propose to pay for all that?!!! We can't even afford teachers.  I'm all for being healthy and eating healthy, I'm even for taxing salt and sugar.  But I'm not for government invention into my dining habits forcibly! If that's the case then let's do something about every other vice that is out there including gamers.  Really, enough government. Thanks for bringing this to light.

Posted by Cathy Criado, Making Real Estate Profitable (Criado Realty ) about 8 years ago

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

I'm suggesting it for feature.  Cross your fingers.

I'd reblog it if I could.

Thanks. 

 

Posted by Lenn Harley, Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland (Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate) about 8 years ago

Cathy: This is a tongue in cheek post.

Lenn: Thank you. My sarcastic side tends to get the better of me at times. ;)

Posted by Than Maynard, Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862 (Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma) about 8 years ago

Hey I know, if the citizen cant lose the excess weight, we can extend the program for up to 99 weeks and pay for them to go to the gym.

Posted by Christine Koch, Realtor - eXp Realty San Antonio TX (eXp Realty) about 8 years ago

Nice post.  But the real truth is the marriage between McDonalds and Government.  Okay, they make the fries smaller and add an apple.  They get some kind of good press, maybe a stored favor or two with Washington.  Next comes the inevitable apple shortage, they discontinue the practice but keep the smaller fries.  They also sell their ownership in the apple orchard which they bought at a discount( as did the government folks) 

Nothing is as they seem.

Posted by Dale Terry about 8 years ago

Taxing salt and sugar Cathy?  Get real...

People see this and laugh (I love you Than and your cynicism) but don't think this will be out of the realm of possibility.  Once a statist has us in his/her/its sites, he/she/it can tell us to do whatever he/she/it wants, for us to "qualify" for "health" care.

Posted by Jay Markanich, Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia (Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC) about 8 years ago

Good afternoon Than,

This is absolutely wonderful..I've suggested it also. It is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!! Thanks for your creativity!

Posted by Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR, Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate (Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899) about 8 years ago

Lol, pretty funny and I think this is just about as out of hand as our country is about now.  Everyone (at the top) wants to control everyone else into believing and thinking as they do

Posted by Bob Jakowinicz, Michigan Real Estate Agent-- MI RE Adventures (National Realty Centers Livonia--Bob Jakowinicz) about 8 years ago

Great, now we have two people who are trying to make government bigger. 

Posted by William Feela, Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No. (WHISPERING PINES REALTY) about 8 years ago

I do what I can to point out the idiocy that comes out of our goverment. Yes, this is make believe (for now), but how much further could things go? It is not the government's responsibility to tell McDonald's what to put in their Happy Meals. It is the parent's or guardian's responsibility to control what their children eat and how much exercise they get.

Posted by Than Maynard, Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862 (Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma) about 8 years ago

Sometimes it is hard to know what is satire and what is true.

Posted by Dave Halpern, Louisville Short Sale Expert (Keller Williams Realty Louisville East (502) 664-7827) about 8 years ago

Thanks for the Suggests. I don't know what it does, but maybe a few more people will read it.

Posted by Than Maynard, Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862 (Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma) about 8 years ago

Than - thanks for the Wednesday chuckle. We can use a few more these days.

Posted by Mike Saunders (Lanier Partners) about 8 years ago

I think the federal government has lovely arms, but she really should take care of her hips as well. lol

 

 

Posted by Yolanda Hoversten, Broker - O Fallon, IL Real Estate (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Elite Properties) about 8 years ago

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